House to Home

My wife and I are in the midst of packing up our home to move next weekend. It is slowly becoming less a home and more of a house. I remember almost eight years ago buying this house, which had sat on the market for nearly a year because it was an empty house and did not look very appealing. But we saw its potential to become a lovely home and very useful in the ministry of hospitality.

In the coming days and months, we transformed it. It became, in the words of so many whom we hosted, a lovely home. What made it lovely, however, was not merely the fresh colors of the walls, the new appliances in the kitchen, or the furniture. It was the spirit of hospitality that filled the place. My wife and I loved our house being filled with people. We hosted students weekly during school years and friends and neighbors (and some strangers) at Thanksgiving and Easter. It was a home, not only for us, but also for many others.

That changed with the onset of the pandemic in March 2020. It was more than a year before we hosted anyone again, and then with many restrictions, such as wearing masks and social distancing. Really, for the past two years, our home hasn’t really felt like our home, but more just a house in which we have lived. Now, it feels definitely like a house as pictures are taken off the walls and boxes increasingly occupy more space. It’s becoming more and more a neutral living space awaiting the transformation back into a home by the new owners. Hopefully, they will host lots of people, but I won’t be surprised if they do not. Having traveled in many parts of the world, it is easy to see how Americans fall way down the list in practicing hospitality. It is just not part of our cultural identity.

Last week, my wife and I were out walking in our neighborhood. Two of our neighbors were outside and we began talking with them. Soon, the woman asked if we would like to come into their home for a while to continue our conversation. It was surprising, honestly. For the past few decades, “dropping in” unannounced on neighbors (or friends) has fallen out of favor. To be invited into a home without prior scheduling is a rare occurrence nowadays.

Homes have become our private getaways. Many of us don’t even know our neighbors because everyone spends their time inside or on back decks. When we do meet with people, we mostly prefer restaurants or coffee shops. These are not necessarily bad, but one cannot practice hospitality anywhere other than where we reside. And why is that important, you may ask? Because the Scriptures tell us to practice hospitality (Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2, I Peter 4:9). It is just another distinguishing trait of the follower of Jesus. Note that we are not told we must have the gift of hospitality to show hospitality. The commands are very straightforward—practice hospitality. Now those with gifts of hospitality will obviously have an easier time doing it, but, as with serving, we are to do it regardless if we have a special giftedness in it.

So why do we struggle so much as Americans to show hospitality besides the perceived need for privacy and alone time? I think there is often pride involved. We’re afraid our home, or the food we offer will not measure up. We’re afraid of what people will think. So, we keep them at bay from crossing our thresholds. Instead, we meet in a more neutral place. I think there also may be a need for control that comes into play. Once people cross the threshold, particularly if they’re bringing kids, what might happen? Will they spill stuff on our furniture or damage something?

Regardless, both motives are unbiblical. By making Jesus Lord, we give up control, and we are always called to be humble rather than to give into pride.

We Christians are by nature to be countercultural. We are to love each other as well as our enemies. We are to respect governmental authorities. We are to forgive those who hurt us. We are to practice hospitality. These are ways that God intends us to stand out among the world. He wants us to turn our houses into welcoming homes.

So where does one start? Perhaps with people in your church. It’s always better to practice something with people we know. Don’t invite them out, but rather invite them in—to your home! Once you have begun doing this, then expand the practice of hospitality to your neighbors or even strangers, such as international folks. (Did you know that among international students studying in the US, it is believed that only 25% ever enter an American home?)

One of things that is repeatedly mentioned in reference to the polarized nature of our society currently is that people do not associate with people of different political beliefs, and that lack of familiarity has made it much easier to treat people more harshly and without empathy. Practicing hospitality might be helpful to change this dynamic, particularly among believers who hold to different political views, since what unites us is to be Christ, not our politics.

My wife and I hope to make our new house, even if it is a rental, into a home that is welcoming to our new neighbors and to our brothers and sisters in Christ in our new church. For we realize that practicing hospitality is not an option for Christians, but the expectation. And for much of our lives, we have been blessed through obedience to this command. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

© Jim Musser 2022 All Scripture references are from the New International Version, 2011.