Graciousness

My niece, who lives in South Africa, was out one night recently with her college friends having dinner. An older black gentleman approached their table and complemented them for having fun conversations instead of constantly looking at their phones. He encouraged them to work hard at their studies and to become good, productive citizens in their country. He then gave them enough money to pay for their meals. When asked why he was doing that, he told them that he had grown up during apartheid and suffered much oppression and poverty. But there was a white family who took an interest in him and provided for many of his needs. When he graduated from high school, they paid for him to go to college. He graduated and began a successful career.

Now, he told the young women, that white couple are elderly and he is helping them. And then he said this: “When I was growing up, it was the blacks who were oppressed by the whites, and this white couple helped me. Now, it is the blacks who often oppress the whites, and it’s my turn to help them.”

This small act of kindness to those white college students was evidence of such graciousness that is so often missing in our world. And it made an indelible impact on my niece. She told her mom that this gentleman’s graciousness and encouragement reminded her of a promise she made to herself when she started college—she would never cheat. She said so many of her classmates cheat on exams, but this man’s example was proof that she had made the right choice.

Do you see how this man’s graciousness in attitude and action impacted a young person in an unexpected way? Of course, she was impressed with his generosity of paying for their meals, but it was his gracious attitude towards people who might have represented oppressors to him and called up all kinds of horrible memories of injustice that truly impacted her. In essence, this man called her to higher purpose than merely getting good grades or having a successful career. He called her to a life of integrity and graciousness in a world which is horribly lacking in both.

I have written often about the toxic and caustic tone of our culture, sadly which includes many who claim to follow Christ and that they are merely standing up for values and truth. What is even sadder is that our young people are watching. What are we teaching them? Being married to a white South African, I have gotten glimpses of the hate and resentment that exists between the races in that beautiful country. It has been passed down from generation to generation. Yet, look at the impact one white couple had on a black teenager through their graciousness to him. What they did was counter to their culture, and I am sure they were often mocked for helping the boy. I don’t know whether they were Christians, but they indeed reflected the image of Christ, as did the now grown man who they helped.

The question we all need to ask ourselves is, are we reflecting the gracious of Jesus who chose to be countercultural by eating with ‘sinners’ (Mark 2:15-17), talking in public with women (John 4:27), touching lepers (Matthew 8:1-3), not challenging the Roman oppression so hated by the Jews, but instead inviting a tax collector to join his group of disciples (Matthew 9:9)? Do young people see this graciousness toward the hurting and lost? Are we by our attitudes and actions calling them to a life of integrity and kindness to those whom we might easily see as our enemies, or are we passing down to them something else?

Young people are watching us and taking their cues from what they observe. Let us all think about what we are passing along to them.

© Jim Musser 2022 All Scripture references are from the New International Version, 2011.